Before I left to teach the Lobster Primer last night, I was vacuuming, feeling anxious about a life path that is everything but stable and consistent. And, as I was vacuuming, I was looking at all my/our stuff. And I was a little disgusted with myself. I’ve recently quit smoking, not because I set out to or wanted to, but because I was smoking one night and was filled with an overwhelming feeling of what are you doing? and then I didn’t smoke again. So, I’m vacuuming morning, and I kinda got the same feeling looking at my bookshelf with stuff sliding out of it into a pool on top of an empty storage crate. I saw odd purchases of stuff that seemed so important and meaningful in the moment of purchase: two cookie tins that I had to have in Ithaca last week, for example. I stood there and thought, I have a little hoarder in me. Not in the A&E Buried Alive way, but in the frustrating, bad feng shui way. The Grey Gardens in the making kind of way. Do I really need 5 copies of the magazine that published my recipe? Or, can I make room in my life and believe that that’s not the only magazine that’s ever going to publish me?
Later in the day, I was reading the NYTimes website and came across this article about consumption and happiness. I was moved. And I’m not usually moved, being a cynical New Yorker and all. Then I started reading this blog called Rowdy Kittens and while I’m not planning to scale back to 100 belongings (though I wasn’t planning to quit smoking, either) I’m so inspired to purge all the crap that has filled our house and to deal with the anxiety and guilt that it all generates. I feel like I’m planning a big trip to somewhere new.
So, I’m going to write a bit about that. Fear not, there’s lots of recipes there in the left side bar to be found, and I hope you flip through the archive or use the search tool up top and type in what you want to cook or read about. And I will pepper in some new food finds, videos and recipes. But I want to take you on a raw trip with me and hopefully I’ll make some room for what I really need space for and what life really holds.
Does this totally freak you out? Am I sounding all Oprah new-agey? Or are you looking at a pile of your own, thinking, “I hear that sister!” Tell me, I really want to hear your thoughts.